'Consumer Instructions'
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer - Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos - You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap - Directions: Use like regular soap.
On some Swanson frozen dinners - Serving suggestion: Defrost.
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) - Do not turn upside down.
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - Product will be hot after heating.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron - Do not iron clothes on body.
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine - Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.
On Nytol Sleep Aid - Warning: May cause drowsiness.
On most brands of Christmas lights - For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Japanese food processor - Not to be used for the other use.
On Sainsbury's peanuts - Warning: contains nuts.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts - Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
On a child's Superman costume - Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
On a Swedish chainsaw - Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.